I was not so thrilled about approaching women by the time I needed to in high school. Women seem to be another species from another planet. Apart from my mom and my sister, I dreaded the time when I had to approach a female classmate for a school project, a dance and the worst, a date for the prom. Why do men like me have such a huge fear of approaching women?
There is a condition called gynophobia which is the term for the abnormal fear of women. This may sound weird but this fear of women may root from a social phobia or a social anxiety disorder. There is also an unusual fear of beautiful women called caligynephobia or venustraphobia which can cause males to become anxious and fret over the fear of meeting and being surrounded by beautiful and desirable women. Knowing that the fear or anxiety that I felt was documented in the pillars of science plus the knowledge that I was not alone, I sought to find the remedy for it.
As many psychiatrists and authors of the mind when it comes to fear said: the best way to overcome any fear is to face it head on. My fear of approaching women was affecting my school work, my social skills as well as when I had to go schedule for my first job interview. I had to find the best way to deal with my fear.
In an effort to start facing my fears, I decided to go to places where there are several women that were not a threat to me. I went with my sister to a relative’s wedding and I felt better knowing that MOST of these women are just relatives that I have never seen before. I started to feel the chill when beautiful bridesmaids began to complement me on my tux (I was not that bad looking either). But later that evening, I had a great time chatting with one bridesmaid who ended up giving her phone number.
After a successful evening, another chance to face my fear of approaching women took place. I was invited to join a karaoke jam with my friends and of course together with their girlfriends that I felt comfortable with. I was caught off guard when I found out that I had to deal with «non-friend» girls on the side. They were cute but instantly I was so anxious to talk and even sing. After much coaxing, I was finally able to strike a conversation with one blonde and we ended up singing the entire night. She even complemented on how great my singing voice was!
Facing my ultimate fear of approaching women and even beautiful women actually paid off.
I still feel the jitters knowing that there is a beautiful girl to pop out of nowhere but I guess I have to live with that possibility. I would like to see myself free from this fear of approaching women soon but I am really thankful that I never lost interest in facing my fears head on.